Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Don’t Be That Kid in Walmart

So often we ask God for something, and so often we are not given it. How do you respond to that? Do you find yourself suppressing feelings of resentment because you haven’t received the answer to your prayer? Do you feel guilty for having thoughts like that toward God and then feel an element of defeat? You wish you could remember even in the midst of your loss or denied fulfillment that God is a good God and you have to trust Him even when it doesn’t make sense. Why can’t you be the gracious child that may be disappointed when their mother tells them “no” in the store but acts respectfully all the same? Rather, you’re more like the kid that throws themselves down in the middle of an aisle in Walmart kicking and screaming in rage that they can’t have the toy they’ve asked for.

I’ll admit it, I’ve been that kid. I’ve thrown an epic holy fit because I was denied something I wanted and I can tell you that I didn’t feel the slightest bit better when it was over. Not one bit. As a matter of fact, I felt ashamed that I allowed a flesh-flash to take over and make me come unglued. To make matters worse, I’m a thinker. I think and think and think on something until my head looks like a cassette tape that got chewed up by the radio in my first car. No pencil-winding could ever straighten out those ribbons after the jaws of death of my tape deck got ahold of them. My mind can sometimes resemble that if I allow it, making my frustrations even bigger and my reactions even more nuclear.

Thursday, October 17, 2013

You Can’t Have My Bucket - The Wisdom of My Father

I was talking on the phone with my Dad, a man that somehow manages to read my heart better than I do half the time. I didn’t say anything about what I was feeling, I just participated in small talk and told him about my day. The conversation didn’t go very long before he asked me what was wrong. I don’t know how he does that, he just knows. I told him I was tired. Not physically tired, just weary. I felt like everything I was doing was right but that I was running out of ability. I just left it at that, but he knew what I meant. I am so thankful that I had enough foresight to grab a pen and paper when he responded. This is what he said to me:


Jessie, your bucket is called the Joy of the Lord. You use it to access the wells of God called Power, Security, Healing, Authority, Peace, Knowledge of Who He is. There are more wells than you can name and each of them is filled to the brim, ready for you to drink from them. This is the tool you use to draw from Him.

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Shelving Emerson - Why I Am Done Making Plans

I’ve been reading a lot of Emerson lately and I have found myself struggling between two philosophies.

On one hand, I see the merits of living a life full of plans and goals and working to make them come to fruition. Most generally, this is the way we work as human beings as we are taught from childhood that certain things equal success, and meeting or surpassing these benchmarks will make us happier overall. We equate the completion of a goal as something to be proud of and we honor the great people that do amazing feats that take months or even years to complete. As a rule, there is absolutely nothing wrong with this ideal.

We applaud the Olympic athletes that make the records and walk away with the medals. We watch in awe as men and women launch themselves from obscurity to world-renown. We read biographies of people that have clawed their way out of humble beginnings to become goliaths in business or art or science. These people keep us motivated to move forward as a species and reach even greater heights.